Interesting word this week.
I can conjure up images of a thousand ways to apply this, but today isn’t one of those days. I have no time to sit and ponder, consider and return to the should’s of yesteryear.
Here’s my week-
Phone call to my daughter from the NICU, where my 25 week born granddaughter fights for her life-
“You should get to the hospital. We advise you to not come alone.”
I should have had words of comfort, encouragement and prayer. Something.
But what I had, what was said, was simply, “I don’t understand.”
Lost in my own fear, and reeling from the spiral that we found ourselves in, I was lost.
Our drive was a quiet one. Her husband was already there, and didn’t make things better.
“Your heart will break when you see her.” Really?
As if our heart wasn’t already being torn by the unknown.
Words like ventilator, kidney failure, dire, wait..haunted us all day long.
I should have handled things better? But I couldn’t stop the flowing tears. I don’t know, maybe I handled things just fine. Maybe I was supportive and don’t know it. But in my opinion, I should have been more.
I placed my hands over that innocent baby, and prayed. There is no ‘should’ when it came to doing what comes naturally. I may have learned new lessons on my personal ability to pray, maybe they were lessons I should have learned from in my past. Does that matter? I learned now.
By the love, comfort and healing of God, she made it through her first scare. All labs were normal, kidneys were functioning by nights end. I sat the next two days wondering if it was all a dream. Did Monday really happen?
Yes, it did. I should pay close attention.
God is good, all the time. In the best and worst situations- He is good. He is faithful and true. And when you pray, I suggest you believe in His ability, because he’ll remind you- but that is a story for another time.
You should hold this truth close to your heart. We all need it at some point.
Lisa @ AuthenticTruths
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