Well, I’m trying.

I spent my week being told I didn’t exist, so why breathe? (haha!)..  My name was changed at the age of four- back before computers were the thing. Mom took my formal court documents to Vital Records, and they examined them and produced my new birth certificate with my new awesome name-Lisa. But somehow, that lady forgot to file that change (today, we'd say she didn't hit save), and 40 some years later, when I misplaced my birth certificate, they have NO record of a ‘Lisa’. I can, however, pick up a copy of my birth name-the one with no ties to my life, like..ever.

So I sat in a panic, and probably forgot to BREATHE. I need to apply for my passport this week, I need that document. But more importantly, I need to be me. I don’t want to pay money to the courts to say, this is me, who I’ve ALWAYS been- see, I’m married now, but that name on my marriage certificate proves I once was Lisa, with a maiden name. See, I have a social security card with my new name on it, proving I had a birth certificate at some point with my NEW name. It was a battle over the phone to get anyone to comprehend I existed, with a new name, that I once had a birth certificate for!

Breathe. When life feels like everything is chaos, and you are being spun in unseen directions by invisible hands. Breathe. When this world wants to strike your identity from existence..Breathe.

Breathe in deep and take in the power of the Holy Spirit, that love that indwells your being to the core of all you are. Breathe in HIS truth and your identity in CHRIST ALONE- for it’s there you find your worth, your purpose, your everything.

(and because I was busy Friday trying to prove I’m me, this is being submitted on Tuesday)

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

All are welcome and invited to take part in joining women around the world for Five Minute Friday! You will be given a prompt word then simply take five minutes of your day to write a heartfelt, authentic message (no need to edit) using that word!

As I sat at my desk and listened along to the March for Life, I was very happy to see such a calm and dignified march taking place in the name of LIFE. This march has a clear purpose, and is all inclusive. The Vice President was there to offer his support, many prayers were lifted from all faiths, and many men and women spoke for the lives of the innocent.

You may not agree with this march, cause, political issue- but I’ve learned one thing over the past few months- we must agree to pray over those things of which we may not have an ounce of control!

We must pray for peaceful communication, debates, and discussions. We may have no control over the policies, law and changes that take place in chambers that we never see, but nothing, and no one can stop the never ending flooding of prayers that we can speak for the people in those chambers. We have control over our words lifted to a listening God, who hears us and knows our deepest concerns, and is there to receive your prayers.

I often feel that my nation is spinning out of control in a direction that is less than desirable. But I am overcome with gratitude in the knowledge that wherever we are spinning to, God is already there! I am comforted knowing that not only is He there- but he’s also right here, in this nauseated spin!

I am not alone, we are not alone.

Whether we agree or not, doesn’t matter to our Father, as long as we believe and turn to Him.

This didn’t take five minutes, but I think I’ll leave it right there.

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ 

All are welcome and invited to take part in joining women around the world for Five Minute Friday! You will be given a prompt word then simply take five minutes of your day to write a heartfelt, authentic message (no need to edit) using that word!

I’ve been deep in thought over this past month, awaiting the inauguration of our new President, Donald J. Trump. Certain thoughts, I have no need to share here, however…

As I’ve reflected on what concerns I have regarding my country- it really has nothing to do with politics at all. My greatest concern has nothing to do with this inauguration actually. My greatest concern has to do with the lack of respect we’ve seen flourish in our country toward one another. Whether it’s on the streets of the cities, or the screens of social media, the disrespect is evident and loud and out of control.

So when I see this word refine today. I call out to all believers, to look in the mirror to determine where you can be refined. Where can you bring your thoughts and words to a ‘finer state’. In which areas of your life can you surrender to the Lord, to return to purity.

Do you take part in social media warfare? Believing you are standing for the good of all, therefore, your harsh words are justified? Do you bring glory to God when you share your ideas and opinions? Is your goal day in and day out to share the uncompromising, everlasting Word of God?

To refine oneself takes the courage to look deep inside your heart, and to seek the Lord, sometimes face down on the rug, to acknowledge that you do have areas in your life that can be polished by His truth.

I have faith that love will overcome. His love will overcome in you, and your love will shine the light to them.

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ 

All are welcome and invited to take part in joining women around the world for Five Minute Friday! You will be given a prompt word then simply take five minutes of your day to write a heartfelt, authentic message (no need to edit) using that word!

If I close my eyes real tight, I can see them. Each one, running around the park, screaming, laughing and having the best time. All of them in their 20’s or near it, they each hold a particularly special place in my heart, I guess I’m lucky- we have four chambers, and I have four children- so they have equal space.

Back then, I never thought much about the days that would come when we wouldn’t be playing groundies anymore on the playground equipment, or the days when we loaded into a much (loathed) minivan, and headed out for a weekend getaway. I didn’t consider that there would be no homework to fight over, no laundry to wash, no baths, or no fighting over the T.V. remote.

Some days, those fights are missed.

Here I sit. Each have moved on in some way. Even the 18 year old- he works, hangs out with friends, but rarely with us. He graduates this year, and though he’s not sure what’s next, something is. They fly off, build their lives, get married and have their own children (I now have 3 grandchildren!!!). They move. Still, here I sit.

I’m not in the beginning of anything, for my life is the same as it was a few years ago. I’m not at the end of anything. I’m simply left in the middle.

I’ve been contemplating that for over a year now. Writing about different topics in middle age, different conflicts, a different life.  Yes. Here I sit. Wondering, as so many before me do, what is next? How does life go on as a parent, but a different parent? You know, the one who is not so needed. The parent who now watches as the possibility of an occasional “I told you so”…escapes upon watching them lead their lives. What is the middle? Where is the middle?

Some days I’m energized and ready to be free. Some days I sit back and sadly evaluate the lack of purpose and direction. When the purpose used to revolve around being an active mother, and now revolved around remembering being an active mother.

I realize I was always in the middle- the middle of childhood, adolescence, my 20’s, my 30’s, my 40’s, my career..Perhaps it doesn’t matter where we are in any given moment of our life, maybe what matters most is that we are simply present, living and alive in those moments. I dare you to blink your eyes, because in that blink, it is passing by.

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung, who recently took over for the creator of Five Minute Friday (link below) for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ 

All are welcome and invited to take part in joining women around the world for Five Minute Friday! You will be given a prompt word then simply take five minutes of your day to write a heartfelt, authentic message (no need to edit) using that word!

Our words come and go so swiftly. In moments of joy, gratitude, surprise, anger and disappointment. They are quick thoughts turned reality in a flash of time. I’m not sure those thoughts are even thoughts for more than a second, before we are verbalizing them into the world.

The other day I read a meme that said to practice the pause. Pause before we speak was the main idea. In this past week, I’ve experienced a very quiet time. After some family issues, quiet is what I needed. I’ve not said too much about the incident, other than, “I don’t know..” ..and I’ve said that more than a few times. In this I will create a moment of pause- some time to reflect, discern, and pray about what has transpired, and what the future holds.

Many consider the word create and think of so many beautiful possibilities. But today, for me, this word simply represents time. Time to create some unity, time to create and grow a deeper relationship with my Lord. Create isn’t about anything I can do outside, but it is very much something I am discovering internally. Sometimes when we create, it is about the business of establishing concrete boundaries, loving in ways that may look different than usual. Designing ourselves in bigger and better ways.

I don’t know what the future may bring, but as I pray on that, and I pause, I am willing to create a new dialogue, with new hope, and a new vision. Create is about something new, fresh and inspiring.

Yes, today is a perfect day to create.

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung, who recently took over for the creator of Five Minute Friday (link below) for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ 

All are welcome and invited to take part in joining women around the world for Five Minute Friday! You will be given a prompt word then simply take five minutes of your day to write a heartfelt, authentic message (no need to edit) using that word!