It’s not that I’m lost within the words. It’s that my mind and heart are in one accord and in this particular moment, I’m quiet.  Words aren’t eluding me, creativeness is floating around in the clouds of beautiful thoughts within my mind.

My week has been quiet. The rush of the last few months has simmered down. I can breathe again. I am not worried about this. I am not wondering where the creative juices have gone, I’m not wondering if my words disappeared.. I am enjoying a moment in peace, and things are still.

We can’t always have the perfect words, because sometimes they just can’t be found. We won’t always be able to share our experiences in quaint words of wisdom and cute tags of clarity. For at some point, after we’ve prayed for His peace, we will receive it. And wisdom and clarity become more than soft spoken, they become silent and reverent to His presence.

We find ourselves overwhelmed by life, I find myself in awe of His breath. It has encompassed all that I am. And I beg your forgiveness, if I choose this time to be alone with my Creator and the God of my being. I choose now to be still in the moving and positioning of the Holy Spirit.

Reminder to self:

What a remarkable coincidence- leave; the word that I have been dreading for two nights. My husband has been working out of state. He is currently home for the weekend. I’ve been tangled in knots at the prospect that on Sunday, he will leave. Gone are the warm Colorado nights with him by my side being my human heater, especially now that the temps have dropped below 30.

He will leave and I still stay. I’ve wondered what God thinks about my whining and sad heart. I’m sure God understands, but I’ve also had to stop and thank him for the blessing of a job, a home, an income, our food, a heater (for those nights I’m now alone) and the many other blessing that come directly from God opening doors for us to have employment. Many don’t have this.

So I think of him leaving as my way to gain back a small amount of independence while leaning, dependently, on my Lord and Savior. My hubby leaving me creates an opportunity to gain wisdom in areas I may lack, to gain relationship with my 16 year old son, who tends to favor dad. His leaving brings a time of appreciation of his arrival, and the day he returns home to stay. Leaving certainly isn’t my favorite word right now. But for the sake of sanity, and to grow in this learning experience….

I will choose to LEAVE the pouting and bitterness behind…

God is good.

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung, who recently took over for the creator of Five Minute Friday, for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

It can be intimidating… stepping out in faith and our self made comfort zone.  I have realized through the years how hard it truly is for some people. I’m currently in a bible study that, when asked to read out loud, one lady nearly has a panic attack right then and there. It is beyond her comfort zone to do this in front of others.

As children, we enjoy the game- “I dare you!”.  The challenge was one we often tackled, or at least I did, with enthusiasm and courage. Sometimes, those challenges sent a stream of adrenaline from head to toe, not knowing if it was really one I wanted to tackle.

I’m not a fan of talking to people I don’t know. I generally stay away from such situations. I dread my husband’s company parties, a friends get together with others I don’t know and going to seminars where I might have to communicate on some level with others.  I cringe I have a middle seat on an airplane!

But this year, I took a plunge into the world of the uncomfortable- the only one who dared me to do this was God himself!

You see, I couldn’t find a new church home after moving back to Colorado. I kept feeling as though I had no connection everywhere I went. I told God, I need a church home. I need a family. He said right back, “Well you will need to speak to people to find what you are looking for. You will need to get involved; you will need to trust me! I dare you to do it!”

The following week, I sent an email to the guest relations coordinator. I wasn’t about to step away from a challenge! Not only would I step out, but I would have to TALK! I became a greeter at the front door!

I am giggling. I am typing with full dramatics that you can’t hear. Think James Earl Jones kind of voice (you know, the voice of Darth Vader) saying “YOU WILL HAVE TO SPEAK".

It wasn’t always a problem for me, but somehow over the years, I lost my ability to look people in the eye and chat. Maybe saying hello at the front door isn’t a big deal to you, but for me in my little world of quiet and comfortable, it was huge. Guess what! This weekend, I am working the Welcome Desk!  Go Lisa!

We all have comfort areas that we prefer, cliques that we choose (sometimes without realizing it), seats we always sit in, even parking spaces we claim. Sometimes we don’t recognize that fear of change is holding us back from God’s will for our lives, or His will for the lives we are meant to touch!

I dare you to step out. To step away from your perfectly planned life map and into His! I dare you to trust. I dare you to forgive, to reach out. I dare you to love.

If you think my little dare isn't pushy enough...wait until you hear it from God!

I invite you to visit the website of Kate Motaung, who recently took over for the creator of Five Minute Friday, for full details and rules (well the one rule).

http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/

I’ve had better weeks. Shoot I’ve had better months! My husband left to work out of state in July. Since then, I suffered pneumonia for a month and a half, my son suffered a devastating neck injury on the football field, then just this week-my daughter had emergency surgery, my deep freezer gave out leaving me scrambling to find a good deal on a new one before I lost a lot of money in meat, and yesterday, my dog was diagnosed with lymphoma. It’s been a long…very long week.

My heart is indeed torn in two- one side is full of love for everything I am so blessed with, and the other is deeply in pain with the news of my precious dog, Ruby.

Trials make for long days, longer nights. Circumstances leave us longing for better moments. My list of chores is growing increasingly longer as the issues keep arising out of nowhere.

Yet, in the midst of it all, I long for only one thing- my Jesus and His arms of comfort and peace to encompass my tender and hurting self. I long to read the Word, to talk to my mighty counselor-the Spirit of Truth. I long for quiet days and quieter night. I long for simplicity and familiarity.

If we come to these trials and don’t long for our God to carry us through them, we are missing a great benefit of His unending love. You praise Him on the best days, you praise Him on the worst.

I only long to praise Him.

I will ask the Father to send you another Helper, the Spirit of truth, who will remain constantly with you. (Voice)

John 14:16

Today is October 10, 2014, for many it’s just a Friday, another day to welcome the weekend. For me, I am personally joining the efforts to draw attention to mental health by joining the World Mental Health Day awareness campaign.

“We care.” “We love.” “ We help.”

We all have desires to fulfill those statements. Unfortunately, people are slipping through the cracks and slipping away from the Lord. As those who suffer with mental illness truly want help, they don’t want to deal with the stigma that comes with it, and especially within the church.

The church has the unique opportunity to show genuine love and care to the millions in need by speaking up and sharing out- out of the walls of a building, out of the clicks that keep us centered in our safe, comfort zones. While we have wonderful intentions in our endeavors through ministry, we might be stumbling when it comes to being open and honest when we approach the conversations of mental illness.

I was afraid to step out and truly begin a ministry that might help those, just like me. God didn’t let go, He never stopped pushing and encouraging me to speak out. Not one person suggested it, or has really said a word to me about it. Still, I have tackled the issue of bipolar disorder by sharing my personal journey. I do this because, I CARE. I care about those who need to know they are not alone. I care. I do this for the family that is at a loss. I care. I do this for the mother, father, son, daughter, grandparent, sister, brother, or pastor of the one who is struggling in some way with mental illness.

If my small story in this great big world can help even one person, then I am accomplishing God’s will in my life.

It’s about Jesus. He cared so much for every single one of us that He died for you and me- so that we might live.

It’s time to CARE.

#worldmentalhealthday